For Parents of LGBTQIA+ Youth

Being the parent of an LGBTQIA+ youth can bring a unique sets of questions and challenges. The good news is, you're not alone in this journey. There are many individuals in this community who are accepting, supportive and welcoming.

RCH does not currently have a parent group available but there is one already established in Billings that has been welcoming parents for a long time.

Always Our Children is an affirming group for parents, relatives, chosen family, and friends of the LGBTQ+ community. We welcome people of all faiths and spirituality who wish to understand and be understood. We all bring one thing to the table; our unconditional love for our children, relatives, and friends. We meet on the first Thursday of the month. Our next meeting is April 3 at 7:00pm. The meetings are at St. Pius X Parish Center, room 1 (717 18th St. West, Billings. Separate building not in the church). Sharing, support, laughter, education, and spiritual discernment are part of the evening. All discussions are strictly confidential; we pride ourselves in discretion. If you wish to meet one-on-one outside the group meeting, that can easily be arranged. For more information, contact Shelly at 406.281.8501. If no answer, leave a message with the assurance that your voicemail is confidential.

Resources are available. Parents with questions can start here as a national resource to ask questions and have them answered. You can also connect with other parents and ensure you are equipped to help your youth navigate through their thoughts and feelings.

Parents who have questions about their youth possibly attending RCH are welcome to message us and set up a time to speak with the Lead Volunteer with any questions they may have.

Learn more at The Trevor Project

Genetic and anatomical characteristics with which youth are born, typically labeled “male” or “female.” Some youth are born with a reproductive/sexual anatomy that does not fit typical definitions of “male” or “female.” This is sometimes referred to as “intersex.” Many medical and some advocacy communities now use the term “disorder” (or sometimes, “differences”) of sex development (DSD).2

Our internal sense of being male, female, or some other identity. Because gender identity is internal, it is not necessarily visible to others.4 “Cisgender” describes youth whose gender identity/expression does not differ from that typically associated with their assigned sex at birth. For example, a young person who was born as male and identifies as a man may be considered cisgender. In contrast, “transgender” (or “trans”) describes people whose gender identity/expression is different from that typically associated with their assigned sex at birth. Research shows that children as young as two years old can identify a person’s sex based on how they present their gender, that by age three they can begin to see themselves as either male or female, and that around age nine they understand gender roles.5 For most youth, internal gender identity is reinforced by the reactions that others have to our gender expression.6 Other terms are sometimes used to describe one’s gender. For example, “gender fluid” or “gender creative” reflect a more flexible range of gender expression.

How youth represent their gender to others. For example, individuals may express their gender through mannerisms, clothes, and personal interests. Our understanding of gender and what it means to be “masculine” and “feminine” is influenced by how we were socialized. For example, families, schools, and the media influence our understanding of gender. A relatively small percentage of gender-variant children develop an adult transgender identity—but the majority of adolescents with a gender-variant identity develop an adult transgender identity.7

Transgender youth “transition” to express their gender identity through various changes, such as wearing clothes and adopting a physical appearance that align with their internal sense of gender. Transition may or may not include medical or surgical treatment and depends on a variety of factors, including age, access to and affordability of services, overall health, and personal choice. For transgender youth, transitioning is an important part of affirming their identity.9

An inclusive term created specifically by and used by some Native American communities. It refers to American Indian/Alaskan Native individuals who express their gender, sexual orientation, and/or sex/gender roles in Indigenous, non-Western ways, using tribal terms and concepts, and/or who define themselves as LGBT, questioning, and intersex in a Native context. Often a person’s spiritual experiences or cultural beliefs are core to the formation of their two-spirit identity.10

The process through which youth identify, acknowledge, express, and share with others information about their sexual orientation and gender identity. This experience can be an affirming one, resulting in a sense of belonging—but it can also create stress in the life of youth and put them at risk for negative outcomes as a result of LGBT-related stigma and the responses and behaviors of others. This process includes coming out over time to oneself, to friends and other peers, at school, to family, at work, and in one’s community.11

Rainbow Coffee House

For Parents of LGBTQIA+ Youth

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Resources are available. Parents with questions can start here as a national resource to ask questions and have them answered. You can also connect with other parents and ensure you are equipped to help your youth navigate through their thoughts and feelings.

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